My First Mother’s Day Was the Answer to a Years-Long Prayer

Hey Mama!

Happy Mother’s Day!

For years, I loathed this day. My desire for motherhood made me more and more depressed as each year passed. Wanting to know what it would feel like to be seen, to be celebrated, to be loved on. I wanted the flowers, the handmade cards and gifts from my littles, and the barrage of text messages, phone calls, and Mother’s Day wishes from loved ones and passers-by. And the older I got, the more I began to feel like I would never share that experience with the mothers that I knew and loved. 

But all that changed when I saw those six (Yes, six. I took three tests, lol!) lines on November 2, 2022, confirming that my time was coming. I was finally about to become a mom. Something I’d always longed for. 

In the weeks leading up to my first Mother's Day, I was so burnt out that I just wanted to sit down and do absolutely nothing. I didn’t want to change a diaper, wipe a nose or a butt, prepare a bottle, rock anyone to sleep, clean up, or make any meals. As a working stay-at-home mom (more on that later), I do more than my fair share of all of the above on a daily basis and didn’t want to spend my special day doing the same things. But the more I thought about what I wanted the day to look like, the more I looked forward to my daily routine.

I looked forward to Sweet Pea babbling at the crack of dawn and her excitement as I walked into her nursery to change her diaper and give her a bottle. I looked forward to preparing her favorite breakfast of peanut butter, banana, and oatmeal pancakes, with a side of mango. I even looked forward to cleaning my home and preparing loving and nourishing meals for my family to enjoy throughout the week. 

All my life I have looked forward to not just a baby, but having a family of my own to love, nurture, and support. To be the heart and soul of my home. To be the Queen of my castle. And now that I have it, I enjoy all that goes into it. Even on the days when I am exhausted and overdue for a break. 

Now, my lover did send me to get my hands and feet done on Friday. He also took Sweet Pea off my hands for a few hours on Saturday so I could have the house to myself. And let me tell you, those were some of the most glorious five hours I have had in quite some time. I was even treated to some of my favorite meals and received many cards, gifts, flowers, and love offerings, and the text messages and phone calls have been nonstop. All of which I am truly grateful for.

So, for my first Mother’s Day, instead of breaking from my normal routine and doing nothing, I chose to find joy in it. Because the Racquel from many years ago, prayed for everything that I have today. 

With Love,

Racquel